| October 29, 2009 | - Two coyotes mauled to death a 19-year-old Canadian folk singer while she was hiking.
| Source:
The Star
|
| September 9, 2009 | -
Canadian scientists discovered the smell of death.
| Source:
BBC
|
| August 9, 2009 | - A Canadian company claimed that an unnamed “Saudi businessman” had commissioned a solid-gold, diamond- and ruby-encrusted penis-enlarger.
| Source:
AVN
|
| July 14, 2009 | - Before police rescued him, a three-year-old Canadian boy spent two hours floating down Peace River atop his toy truck.
| Source:
Yahoo News
|
| May 15, 2009 | - A candidate for the newly formed Canadian Sex Party received 2 percent of the vote in the Vancouver Point Grey riding.
| Source:
The Register
|
| March 17, 2009 | -
Canadian paleontologists found that tiny velociraptor-like dinosaurs smaller than housecats roamed North America 75 million years ago.
| Source:
Science Daily
|
| December 29, 2008 | - An Ontario woman was found buried under three feet of snow three days after she went missing. “Wow,” she told rescue workers. “I've been here a long time.”
| Source:
CNN
|
| December 13, 2008 | - Steel and rubber plants across the United States and Canada continued to cut jobs,
| Source 1:
Cadiz Record
Source 2:
Herald-Dispatch
Source 3:
McCook Daily Gazette
Source 4:
Times-Bulletin (Ohio)
Source 5:
Victoria Advocate
Source 6:
Hartford Courant
Source 7:
Kalamazoo Gazette
Source 8:
IHT
|
| December 7, 2008 | - Researchers studying Canadians found that older brains are less efficient at filtering out distractions.
| Source:
Science Daily
|
| November 12, 2008 | - A sixth severed foot washed ashore in Canada.
| Source:
CNN
|
| October 23, 2008 | - A team of Canadian and U.S. scientists announced the discovery of the “Magnetic Death Star,” a microscopic fossil composed of bacterial iron-oxide crystals, created during a global-warming event that transpired 55 million years ago.
| Source:
Science Daily
|
| September 9, 2008 | -
Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper was forced to apologize after his Conservative party posted a video on its website showing an animated puffin defecating on Liberal leader Stephane Dion.
| Source:
The Canadian Press
|
| July 2, 2008 | -
Ottawa firefighters sprayed children with E. coli-contaminated water to celebrate Canada Day.
| Source:
CBCNews.ca
|
| June 17, 2008 | - A left human foot wearing a running shoe was found in the ocean near Vancouver. Police were checking to see if it was related to any of four right human feet found in the area since August. “This might take a long time,” said Sharlene Brooks of the Delta Police Department. “This is not C.S.I.” A forensic pathologist and an anthropologist studying what appeared to be a sixth human foot concluded that it was an animal paw and some seaweed stuffed into a sock.
| Source 1:
NYT
Source 2:
BBC
Source 3:
National Post
Source 4:
AP via NYT
Source 5:
BBC
|
| May 26, 2008 | -
Canadian Foreign Affairs Minister Maxime Bernier resigned shortly before his ex-girlfriend Julie Couillard told a television interviewer that Bernier had left classified NATO documents about Afghanistan in her apartment and had encouraged her to wear a low-cut blouse to his swearing-in in order to attract media attention. It subsequently came to light that Couillard, a former model, had lived with one member of the Quebec Hell's Angels (who was arrested for possession of submachine guns and marijuana, then turned police informant, and was found dead in a ditch), married and divorced another, and was marked for death by the head Angel, a man named “Mom.” “I don't care about her cleavage,” said MP Michael Ignatieff, deputy leader of the Liberal opposition. “But this stuff is not only my business, it is the business of all Canadians.” Prime Minister Stephen Harper, a Conservative, rejected calls for an investigation into the scandal.
| Source 1:
New York Times
Source 2:
National Post
|
| May 23, 2008 | - The fourth human foot since August washed ashore in British Columbia. “All we got is,” said a corporal, “it's a foot in a shoe.”
| Source:
The Province
|
| April 10, 2008 | -
French and Canadian
astronomers announced the discovery of the coldest brown-dwarf star on record, 40 light-years away.
| Source 1:
AP via Google News
Source 2:
|
| January 26, 2008 | -
Canadian police Tasered a man who was attempting to scalp himself in the bathroom of an Ottawa-bound bus.
| Source:
Ottawa Sun
|
| November 8, 2007 | -
Canadian scientists discovered that women are more likely to swing their hips seductively when they are at their least fertile.
| Source:
Times Online
|
| November 2, 2007 | -
Rudy Giuliani conceded that although his campaign's statistic for prostate cancer survival rates in Britain was seven years old and 30 points off, Americans should still be wary of “socialized medicine.” “If we ever got to Hillarycare in this country,” said Giulani, “Canadians will have nowhere to go for health care.”
| Source:
Reuters via Yahoo! News
|
| October 5, 2007 | -
Canadian
researchers found that lonely, bullied, or ostracized children have sex earlier than happier children.
| Source:
Canada.com
|
| April 4, 2007 | - An elementary school principal in Toronto admitted to pelting an unruly student with feces.
| Source:
Toronto Star
|
| March 28, 2007 | - Researchers discovered that Canadian
school bullies were forcing their girlfriends to strip online.
| Source:
Reuters
|
| March 5, 2007 | - The New Republic, a 93-year-old independent American liberal weekly, was sold to a Canadian
media conglomerate that will publish it half as often.
| Source:
New York Observer
|
| January 16, 2007 | - Women in Canada were joining professional pillow-fighting leagues.
| Source:
Reuters
|
| October 12, 2006 | -
Canadian troops in Afghanistan were finding it difficult to destroy forests of ten-foot-tall marijuana plants where the Taliban hide. “That damn marijuana,” said one soldier.
| Source:
Reuters via CNN.com
|
| September 20, 2006 | - The United States Justice Department claimed Attorney General Alberto Gonzales “had his timeline mixed up” when he denied the United States had deported a Canadian citizen to Syria, where he was tortured.
| Source:
New York times
|
| September 15, 2006 | - At Dawson College in Montreal a blogger named Kimveer Gill went on a shooting rampage, wounding 19 people and killing an 18-year-old woman and himself. It was later revealed that Gill had listed “crushing my enemies' skulls” under the “likes” section of his website profile.
| Source:
CTV.ca
|
| September 5, 2006 | - An Orthodox Jewish man was removed from an Air Canada
flight because his praying made other passengers nervous.
| Source:
CBC
|
| August 28, 2006 | - American heavy-metal band Fecal Corpse were denied entry to Canada.
| Source:
Toronto Sun
|
| August 14, 2006 | - Five Uighurs found life in Albania “better than Guantánamo” but longed to move to Toronto.
| Source:
The New York Times
|
| August 2, 2006 | -
Wild bison took over a small Canadian town. “Try and get an insurance claim done after your car was kicked by a buffalo,” said one local resident. “The adjustor will just laugh at you.”
| Source:
Mail and Guardian
|
| July 18, 2006 | -
Research revealed that Canadian high-rise hotels may be to blame for a 200 percent increase in mist levels at Niagara Falls.
| Source:
NY Times
|
| June 20, 2006 | - Four men suspected of aiding a Canadian terrorist cell were arrested in London,.
| Source 1:
The New York Times
Source 2:
BBC
|
| June 20, 2006 | - A Canadian bear was caught stealing oatmeal.
| Source:
CNN
|
| June 6, 2006 | -
Bird flu was discovered in Prince Edward Island.
| Source:
GlobeAndMail.com
|
| June 1, 2006 | - A zoo in Vancouver was charged with cruelty to a hippo.
| Source:
The Calgary Sun
|
| May 24, 2006 | - In Ontario, Canada, a man was arrested ten minutes after stealing a hand-held vagina. "He had used it," said a constable.
| Source:
AZCentral.com
|
| May 11, 2006 | - In Canada
scientists confirmed that an odd-looking bear shot and killed in April was a "grolar" bear (half polar bear, half grizzly), thus exempting the hunter who shot the bear from paying a grizzly-killing fine.
| Source:
MSNBC
|
| April 28, 2006 | - A Quebec family was offering a reward for their mother's head, which had been hacked from her corpse a year ago. "Each morning," said one family member, "when we get up, we ask ourselves: 'Where is the head? Will it show up on our lawn one morning?'"
| Source:
Reuters via Yahoo! News
|
| April 7, 2006 | -
Paleontologists announced that they had discovered a 375-million-year-old fossil in Canada that they believe is the "missing link" between water-dwelling and land-dwelling animals.
| Source:
Practical fishkeeping
|
| March 29, 2006 | -
Canada cut off all relations with the Palestinian government.
| Source:
CBC News
|
| March 17, 2006 | - A man named Allen Abney, who went AWOL from the Marines in 1968 before his unit was sent to Vietnam, was arrested for desertion and placed in a Marine jail when he tried to cross into Idaho from Canada. He was released a week later.
| Source:
The Globe and Mail
|
| March 9, 2006 | - The Sheaf, a University of Saskatchewan campus newspaper, was criticized for publishing a cartoon showing Jesus Christ
fellating a talking pig.
| Source:
The Gateway
|
| February 19, 2006 | - Author Margaret Atwood was planning to avoid book tours by signing books via remote-controlled robot.
| Source:
The Independent
|
| January 24, 2006 | - The Conservative Party won a plurality of seats in Canada's federal election, making Stephen Harper Canada's next prime minister.
| Source:
CBC.ca
|
| January 6, 2006 | - A woman in Vancouver, British Columbia, pleaded guilty to poisoning the trees in front of her condominium to improve her view of the ocean.
| Source:
Reuters
|
| December 21, 2005 | - The Supreme Court of Canada ruled that swingers clubs do not harm society.
| Source:
CBC News
|
| December 21, 2005 | - It was discovered that bad hay had led to the deaths of 900 goats in Saskatchewan.
| Source:
CBC.ca
|
| December 9, 2005 | -
Canadian Prime Minister Paul Martin criticized the United States for its reticence in dealing with global warming. “There is such a thing as a global conscience,” he said, “and now is the time to listen to it.”
| Source:
Reuters
|
| December 5, 2005 | - A conference on global warming was held in Montreal. The United States was represented by Harlan Watson, whose appointment as U.S. climate negotiator was suggested by ExxonMobil; Watson's presence led to complaints by environmentalists.
| Source:
The Washington Post
|
| November 24, 2005 | - Former Canadian Minister of Defense Paul Hellyer called on Canadian Parliament to hold hearings on the best way to deal with extraterrestrials. “I'm so concerned about what the consequences might be of starting an intergalactic war,” said Hellyer, “that I just think I had to say something.”
| Source:
PRWeb
|
| November 11, 2005 | - In Canada a 10-year-old boy called for a boycott of McDonald’s until the United States pays back $4 billion in softwood tariffs.
| Source:
AFP
|
| October 30, 2005 | - In Winnipeg, Canada, a trailer caught fire, causing $102,006 in damage, when flames spread from a bag of burning excrement left on its front porch.
| Source:
Ottawa Sun
|
| October 20, 2005 | - A Canadian named Gordon Chin was sentenced to 18 months probation for owning cartoon porn, including naked Pokemon images.
| Source:
XBiz News
|
| October 14, 2005 | - A study by scientists at the University of Saskatchewan found that injecting rats with THC, the active ingredient in marijuana, stimulated the growth of new brain cells.
| Source:
CTV.ca
|
| August 31, 2005 | -
Dick Cheney cancelled a trip to the oil sands of Alberta, Canada.
| Source:
Fort McMurray Today
|
| August 15, 2005 | -
Canada was considering sanctions against the United States after it refused to comply with a NAFTA ruling in favor of the Canadian lumber industry.
| Source:
Boston.com
|
| August 13, 2005 | - In Victoria, Canada, methamphetamine addicts were stealing large numbers of bicycles because disassembling the bikes soothes them while they tweak.
| Source:
Canada.com
|
| July 25, 2005 | -
Canada and Denmark were arguing over the claim to Hans Island, an uninhabited one-half-square-mile of land 682 miles south of the North Pole.
| Source:
CNN.com
|
| July 8, 2005 | - U.S. Treasury Secretary John Snow said that Canadian oil was important to American security.
| Source:
Houston Chronicle
|
| July 4, 2005 | -
Toyota announced that it would open a new $800 million plant in Ontario. The company turned down hundreds of millions of dollars in subsidies in the United States because, when compared to Canadians, U.S. workers are too hard to train, often illiterate, and expensive to insure.
| Source:
CBC News
|
| June 29, 2005 | -
Canada's parliament voted to allow gay
marriages.
| Source:
BBC News
|
| June 24, 2005 | - A sixty-million-year-old venomous mouse fossil was discovered by a Canadian.
| Source:
Hindustan Times
|
| June 23, 2005 | -
Canada appointed an ambassador to Iraq.
| Source:
The Ottawa Sun
|
| June 6, 2005 | - A grizzly bear killed a woman near a golf course in Canada.
| Source:
CBC News
|
| June 2, 2005 | - There was a wave of Canadian
canola robberies.
| Source:
CBC News
|
| May 6, 2005 | - In Victoria, British Columbia, a man was barred from a civic meeting because he was dressed as a giant piece of feces named “Mr. Floatie.”
| Source:
Canada.com
|
| April 4, 2005 | -
Canada decided not to deport a flying squirrel.
| Source:
Reuters
|
| March 30, 2005 | - A Toronto man attempted to pass a Breathalyzer test by stuffing his mouth full of his own feces.
| Source:
Ottowa Sun
|
| March 5, 2005 | - A pedophile marijuana grower shot and killed four Mounties, then himself, in Alberta, Canada.
| Source:
Globe and Mail
|
| February 28, 2005 | -
Canadian
scientists announced that they could treat depression by electronically stimulating the brain.
| Source:
Scotsman.com
|
| February 25, 2005 | -
Canada declared that the U.S. must get permission before launching missiles over Canadian airspace.
| Source:
Canada. com
|
| February 9, 2005 | -
Wal-Mart
announced plans to close a store in Canada after
the store's workers unionized.
| Source:
The Street
|
| February 8, 2005 | - a Canadian clinic planned to offer prescription heroin.
| Source:
AP
|
| December 31, 2004 | - and the Department of Agriculture said it would allow Canadian
beef back into the country.
| Source:
Washington Post
|
| December 28, 2004 | - A new law took effect that bars immigrants from claiming refugee status in Canada if they have to travel through the U.S. to get there,
| Source:
New York Times
|
| December 9, 2004 | -
Canada's supreme court ruled that the government can define marriage to include same-sex couples.
| Source:
AP
|
| December 2, 2004 | -
Canada announced that it would no longer grant temporary work permits to foreign strippers.
| Source:
New York Times
|
| December 1, 2004 | -
President Bush, on his first official visit to Canada, ate local beef and announced that he was "still standing."
| Source:
New York Times
|
| November 22, 2004 | - A tanker spilled 44,909 gallons of oil off the coast of Newfoundland.
| Source:
CBC News
|
| November 6, 2004 | -
Saskatchewan legalized gay marriage.
| Source:
New York Times
|
| September 15, 2004 | - Two Canadian
lesbians were granted a divorce.
| Source:
New York Times
|
| August 27, 2004 | -
Canadian fisheries experts found that Puget Sound orcas are contaminated with fire retardants.
| Source:
Associated Press
|
| August 26, 2004 | - Social workers in Winnipeg, Manitoba, were handing out crack pipes to addicts as part of a "harm-reduction strategy."
| Source:
Globe and Mail
|
| July 22, 2004 | - It was reported that one of the first lesbian couples to get married in Canada filed for divorce within five days, though Canadian law does not yet recognize same-sex divorce.
| Source:
Globe and Mail
|
| July 14, 2004 | -
Researchers in Montreal found that people who go blind as infants have better pitch than sighted people.
| Source:
Reuters
|
| July 12, 2004 | -
Canadian patients were complaining about the quality of government-grown pot.
| Source:
Canadian Press
|
| May 28, 2004 | - As part of a land-claim settlement with the Canadian government, the Inuit people of northern Labrador agreed to form a 28,000-square-mile autonomous territory called Nunatsiavut.
| Source:
New York Times
|
| April 8, 2004 | -
Canada banned baby walkers.
| Source:
New York Times
|
| April 6, 2004 | -
Canada ordered the slaughter of 19 million chickens, turkeys, and ducks to stop the spread of bird flu.
| Source:
New York Times
|
| April 5, 2004 | -
Canadian hunters were busy trying to club 350,000 helpless three-week-old baby harp seals to death.
| Source:
New York Times
|
| April 4, 2004 | - The International Boundary Commission warned that the U.S.-Canadian border is becoming overgrown and could be lost in some places.
| Source:
New York Times
|
| March 11, 2004 | - In Penticton, British Columbia, a man cut off his penis and testicles and ran through the street naked, trailing blood, screaming, "Repent, repent, fornicators."
| Source:
Calgary Sun
|
| January 29, 2004 | - A Canadian soldier was killed by a suicide bomber in Afghanistan, as was a British peacekeeper.
| Source:
New York Times
|
| January 16, 2004 | - "You got a pretty face," President Bush told Scott Reid, a senior strategist for Prime Minister Paul Martin of Canada. "You're a good-looking guy. Better looking than my Scott, anyway."
| Source:
Globe and Mail
|
| January 14, 2004 | -
President Bush changed his mind and decided to let Canada bid on Iraqi reconstruction projects, and he announced a new plan to spend $1.5 billion to promote heterosexual marriage.
| Source:
New York Times
|
| December 27, 2003 | - Agriculture officials were hoping to blame Canada.
| Source:
Reuters
|
| December 19, 2003 | -
Toronto police arrested a man for raping a pregnant Jersey cow.
| Source:
Toronto Sun
|
| December 10, 2003 | - U.S. Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz decreed that Canada, Germany, France, Russia, and other nations that opposed the conquest of Iraq will be ineligible for $18.6 billion in reconstruction contracts. The announcement was greeted with astonishment by the blacklisted countries; Russia said that it would now refuse to consider restructuring Iraq's $8 billion debt, and Canada said the decision would probably rule out further reconstruction aid.
| Source:
Boston Globe
|
| December 10, 2003 | -
Canadian psychologists found that men are unable to think rationally when they see a beautiful woman.
| Source:
New Scientist
|
| December 10, 2003 | -
Canada's Air Transport Security Authority banned fruitcakes in carry-on luggage.
| Source:
CBC
|
| November 18, 2003 | - Conrad Black, the right-wing Canadian press mogul and British lord, was caught receiving large "unauthorized payments" from his company and announced that he was resigning as CEO and that he will sell his company, Hollinger International, which owns the Chicago Sun-Times, the Daily Telegraph, the Jerusalem Post, and other media properties.
| Source:
New York Times
|
| October 4, 2003 | - and Prime Minister Jean Chretien of Canada said that he was thinking of trying marijuana: "Perhaps I will try it when it will no longer be criminal. I will have my money for my fine and a joint in the other hand."
| Source:
Reuters
|
| August 24, 2003 | - and a Canadian warehouse worker was killed by an avalanche of frozen food.
| Source:
Canadian Press
|
| August 5, 2003 | - Wild fires were spreading across western Canada.
| Source:
New York Times
|
| May 1, 2003 | - The U.S. State Department complained in a report that Canada's contribution to the war on terrorism was being hampered by its obsession with civil liberties and personal privacy: "Canadian laws and regulations intended to protect Canadian citizens and landed immigrants from government intrusion sometimes limit the depth of investigations."
| Source:
The Ottowa Citizen via Canada.com
|
| August 13, 2002 | -
After a Canadian man died of mad cow disease in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, shares of McDonald's, Wendy's, YUM! Brands, and other fast-food companies declined sharply.
| |
| December 4, 2001 | - Rael, the leader of a Canadian UFO cult called the Raelians, which supports a company called Clonaid, said that his group had already cloned a human embryo, dismissing Advanced Cell Technology's claim to have done so first.
| |
| October 23, 2001 | -
Canada announced that it was overriding Bayer's patent on Cipro and ordered 1 million tablets from a Canadian manufacturer.
| |
| August 28, 2001 | - A Canadian man, one year into a ten-year sailing expedition, was forced to cut short his trip after being attacked by pirates with a bread knife.
| |
| August 21, 2001 | -
Canadian
researchers found that different varieties of genetically modified crops such as rapeseed have spread over great distances and have interbred with one another, spawning superweeds that are almost impossible to kill since they are resistant to many herbicides.
| |
| August 7, 2001 | -
Canada's very cool medical
marijuana
law went into effect.
| |
| June 5, 2001 | - Billy Barnes, an eight-year-old Canadian boy who was suspended from school for pointing a chicken finger at another child and saying “Bang,” was declared innocent by his local school board.
| |
| June 5, 2001 | - In Canada, a black bear killed a man.
| |
| May 8, 2001 | -
Canada prepared to ban human cloning.
| |
| April 10, 2001 | -
Israeli
religious leaders declared that Viagra was not kosher for Passover, though a rabbi can authorize its use “in the event of urgent medical
need.” Customs officials in New York arrested a Canadian stripper who tried to smuggle 78,771 hits of ecstasy into the United States inside some Legos.
| |
| April 10, 2001 | - An Algerian who tried to smuggle explosives into the United States from Canada was convicted of “an act of terrorism transcending a national boundary.” The Bush Administration proposed dropping a program of random salmonella testing of ground beef destined for school lunches; the public was not amused, and the secretary of agriculture withdrew the proposal.
| |
| March 27, 2001 | -
Canada was short on sperm.
| |
| December 26, 2000 | -
Canadian Inuit were killing themselves in alarming numbers.
| |
| December 26, 2000 | -
Canada's Health Ministry gave a $3.8 million contract to a company that will grow medical
marijuana in a mine deep below a lake in Flin Flon, Manitoba, a famously remote town where there is little to do but play hockey and smoke medical marijuana.
| |
| November 21, 2000 | -
Attacks on Canadian Jews were increasing.
| |
| October 17, 2000 | - It was announced that a meteorite that landed in a frozen lake in Canada last January contained primitive forms of carbon that might reveal something about the generation of early life on earth.
| |
| October 10, 2000 | -
Canadian
researchers discovered that many common herbicides, fungicides, and insecticides used on fruit and vegetables encourage the growth of dangerous bacteria such as salmonella, E. coli, and shigella.
| |
| October 3, 2000 | -
Canadian
police discovered organs in a warehouse that were taken from two dead children by Dick van Velzen, a pathologist who previously removed and kept the organs of 850 children without permission in Britain; last year authorities discovered that Dr. van Velzen's previous employer in Liverpool had a huge stockpile of children's organs, including a collection of 2,080 hearts.
| |
| September 12, 2000 | - A Canadian
police ship successfully navigated the Northwest Passage in about one month.
| |
| September 5, 2000 | - Hugo Chávez, the president of Venezuela, warned of “the Vietnamization of the entire Amazon region.” Vietnam returned the body of a Canadian woman, minus one ear, after she was put to death for drug trafficking.
| |
| August 29, 2000 | - The Anglican Church of Canada will require regular sexual-abuse registry checks for all its ministers; Ernst & Young has said that sexual-abuse lawsuits brought by Canadian Indians will probably bankrupt the church.
| |
| August 22, 2000 | -
Canadian Micmac Indians blocked a highway with bonfires near Burnt Church, New Brunswick, in a dispute with the government over lobster fishing rights.
| |
| August 22, 2000 | -
Canadian Prime Minister Jean Cretien was hit in the face with a pie.
| |
| August 1, 2000 | - The House of Representatives voted unanimously to ban the execution of pregnant women in response to remarks by Vice President Al Gore that a “the principle of a woman's right to choose governs in that case.” British Columbia asked the Canadian supreme court to affirm the validity of gay marriage.
| |
| June 0, 2000 | - In Nova Scotia a moose fell to its death from a helicopter sling.
| Source:
CBC
|
