From responses by the 1st Battalion, 501st Parachute Infantry Regiment, in Fan Greely, Alaska, to a recent survey on new Meals Ready to Eat.

The vanilla pudding is so good I ripped it open, licked the inside, and rolled around on top of it like a dog.

Am I supposed to add water to the peanut butter dessert?

Shitcan the meat chunk and give out more granola.

I don’t personally like the cheese, but I can trade with it.

Should add Copenhagen dip.

Why in God’s name would you put a vegetable in a MRE?

It sounded like a flatulence symphony in my tent all night.

The way it turned my mouth blue flooded my mind with childhood memories, and for a moment I was at peace.