Bush Reviews Fredo: A Tale from Bizarro World

By Scott Horton

In the planetary system of DC Comics there was the planet “Bizarro World.” It was a cube shaped planet which operated according to the principle “Us do opposite of all Earthly things! Us hate beauty! Us love ugliness! Is big crime to make anything perfect on Bizarro World!” Today, we have proof that Bush is from Bizarro World.

In a brief appearance this morning, Bush described his reaction to the appearance of Alberto Gonzales on Thursday. The White House had previously pronounced that he was “pleased” by Gonzales's performance, but his spokeswoman had not been able to say he actually saw it. “The president was updated about it,” she said. Today, Bush spoke for roughly three minutes using the word “honest” and permutations thereof six times in three minutes. Here is the core of what he said:

The attorney general went up and gave a very candid assessment, and answered every question he could possibly answer, honestly answer, in a way that increased my confidence in his ability to do the job.

Gonzales invoked the words “I do not recall” in some form 67 times in his testimony. He gave accounts of the dismissals of Carol Lam, David Iglesias, Paul Charlton and Bud Cummins which were sharply at odds with the documents disclosed by the Department of Justice and the White House (a substantially incomplete production since a large number of documents have been withheld). But in Bush’s assessment, this is “very candid” and “honest.”

In our world, a person is “honest” if he is truthful, sincere and demonstrates integrity. In Bizarro World, a person is “honest” if he consciously suppresses relevant information which might prove politically harmful. In which world do you think Bush’s comments were uttered? Indeed, in which world does Bush now reside?