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September 2005 · Readings · Previous · Next   PDF

Do not pass out

From play cards included in D.A.D., Dollars and Dibble, a board game produced by the British company OP8 State. The game is described as a “portal to the underworld,” where the object is “making money, looking cool, and avoiding the Pigs.”

You are turning into a rock star without a record. This is the liquid life. Don't believe the hype—crack's not addictive, just very moreish. Still, don't become a slave to the stone or else you'll lose the throne.

Nanoo, nanoo, you've arrived in paradise, now tell me, is it twice as nice? How are your veins—are they in a better state than your brains? Too much dirt can hurt, you know. Is brown your favorite color, or is it getting you down? Time to ask questions, time to look around—I don't think so!

Call the doctor, pretty baby, 'cos I'm feeling sick. Did you do too many drugs? I did too many drugs. Lose all deals and you're hospitalized in a coma until you roll a 1 to get out.

Take a score from a friend. You are the rip-off king. Shimmy la muddy funster—stealing someone else's stash. Really, you should be ashamed of yourself!

Oh! Oh! Your debts are catching up with you. The mob sent the heavies round to have a quiet word . . . Run! It's too late—they are in the house. Lights out. You are hospitalized, dude. Miss 4 goes.

From the stone to the bone—you are starting to look skeletor. Do you really want some more? Okay bad bwai, break the rocks, hardcore.

Who do you think you are, the Black Panther? Kidnap and hold this rich bloke's daughter. Are you up to it? Don't get involved otherwise. Too late now!

Business is booming. Especially the sex dwarf and the teenage boys 'n' girls. Let's hope you can keep a lid on it—Pimp Snooky is back on the streets!

Justin the Chef keeps extolling the virtues of cookin' up. It's yours if you want it—6 grams of freebase rock. From the cookin' to the washin' up. Keep truckin', keep suckin'.

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SEE ALSO: Narcotic habit

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