Weekly Review

By Roger D. Hodge

Republican operatives were looking high and low for anyone who could remember serving in the National Guard with President George W. Bush between May 1972 and May 1973; one group of Vietnam veterans was offering a $1,000 reward for proof that the president met his military obligations.¹ White House officials tried unsuccessfully to wriggle out of a promise Bush made on national television to release his entire military file, though they continued to insist that the president has nothing to hide.² A dental chart from 1973 suggested that the future president had been neglecting his teeth; another³ document revealed that Bush suffered from a hemorrhoid when he applied to the National Guard.⁴ A former Texas National Guard officer charged that in 1997 he overheard a superior and a Bush adviser discussing ways to "cleanse" Bush's file to remove embarrassing information. The officer said he later saw papers with Bush's name on them in a garbage can.⁵ One hundred twenty-five people died in various attacks in Iraq.⁶ Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said that he did not recall British Prime Minister Tony Blair's prewar claim that Iraq could deploy weapons of mass destruction within 45 minutes. "I don't remember the statement being made, to be perfectly honest." The chairman of the joint chiefs of staff, General Richard Myers, didn't remember it either.⁷ A new poll found that most Americans believe that President Bush lied or knowingly exaggerated evidence that Iraq possessed weapons of mass destruction. The poll also showed Senator John Kerry beating the president by nine percentage points.⁸ Bill O'Reilly of Fox News apologized on national television for his uncritical support of the Bush Administration's claims that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction. "I was wrong," he said. "I am not pleased about it at all and I think all Americans should be concerned about this."⁹ The chairman of the president's Council of Economic Advisers said that the outsourcing of American jobs to other countries is "a good thing" that is "probably a plus for the economy in the long run."¹⁰ Four Nigerians were charged with stealing a 13-year-old boy's eyes to use in an invisibility potion.¹¹ An elderly Florida man robbed a bank to pay for his wife's medical bills.¹²

Attorney General John Ashcroft defended issuing subpoenas for abortion records and said that the records were necessary to find out whether doctors who have sued to overturn the ban on so-called partial-birth abortions are telling the truth when they say they have performed the procedure out of medical necessity.¹³ South Africa's health minister, who has repeatedly expressed doubts that HIV causes AIDS, said that a diet with lots of garlic, olive oil, and lemon juice would help fight the disease.¹⁴ People in Jakarta were watching out for the kolor ijo, or green underpants monster, that has been attacking people and raping women.¹⁵ Three pharmacists were fired in Denton, Texas, for refusing to fill a prescription for emergency contraception.¹⁶ Chinese officials cancelled the opening of the Vagina Monologues in Shanghai.¹⁷ Police chiefs from around the country were trying to defeat a Senate bill that would give gunmakers and dealers immunity from lawsuits.¹⁸ Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia defended his duck-hunting trip with Dick Cheney and said he did not plan to recuse himself from a case involving the Vice President's shadowy energy task force.¹⁹ French prosecutors were investigating $11.4 million in bank transfers to accounts controlled by Yasir Arafat's wife, and the²⁰ family of Palestinian prime minister Ahmed Qureia was accused of supplying concrete for Israel's West Bank Wall.²¹ U.S. officials said that the president might support Israel's new plan to unilaterally withdraw from the Gaza Strip and that some of the inhabitants of the prison camps in Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, might never get out.²² Florida's state department decreed that touch-screen votes need not be included in manual recounts of elections, and a²³ grand-jury investigation was under way in Texas into a political action committee controlled by House speaker Tom DeLay.²⁴ In Finland, a sausage heir was fined $216,000 for speeding.²⁵

South Korean scientists created 30 human clone embryos and harvested embryonic stem cells from one of them; the stem cells were then injected into mice, where they formed cartilage, muscle, bone, and other tissues.²⁶ An FDA advisory panel recommended widespread testing for mad cow disease, saying that absent such testing there is no way to assess the risk of transmission from meat, drugs, vaccines, cosmetics, or dietary supplements.²⁷ The United States Department of Agriculture concluded its investigation into the mad cow outbreak.²⁸ Bird flu continued to spread in Asia; some Thai fighting cocks were found to be infected, and a clouded leopard died of the disease in a zoo near Bangkok.²⁹ Several farms in Delaware and Maryland were under quarantine because of a bird-flu outbreak, and a³⁰ different strain of the virus showed up in Pennsylvania.³¹ Pluto was crushed to death by a parade float near Splash Mountain in Disneyworld.³² The British Medical Association reported that smoking increases the risk of impotence, infertility, cervical cancer, miscarriage, stillbirth, sudden infant death syndrome, low birth weight, placental complications, and cleft palate.³³ The U.S. infant-mortality rate was up, and a³⁴ two-headed baby died after doctors removed its "parasitic head."³⁵ Scientists created a new kind of mouse by moving mitochondrial DNA from one species into another, and fat³⁶ rats lost weight after they were given a gene-therapy shot.³⁷ South Korea cracked down on lewd candy and cakes, and it³⁸ was discovered that people are quite good at avoiding feelings of regret.³⁹