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Monkeys

Mar 2004Number of monkeys fed a nine-course meal at last year's Chinese Banquet for Monkeys in Lopburi, Thailand : 3,000
Source:

Tourism Authority of Thailand (Bangkok)

Jun 2003Number of mine-detecting monkeys erroneously reported to have been given to the United States by Morocco in March: 2,000
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Harper's research

Mar 2003Number of pygmy monkeys seized from a traveler's pants last December by L.A. customs officials: 2
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Office of the U.S. Attorney for the Central District of California (Los Angeles)

Sep 2002Number of monkeys that the federal government has infected with smallpox since May 2001: 24
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U.S. Army Medical Research Institute of Infectious Diseases (Frederick, Md.)

April 14, 2008 Russia was considering sending monkeys to Mars.
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BBC News

January 16, 2008The thoughts of a monkey in North Carolina controlled the actions of a robot in Japan.
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Information Week

May 29, 2007 Scientists in Des Moines, Iowa, talked to apes, who responded by pointing to lexigrams.
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ABCNews

May 22, 2007Battalions of macaques were attacking the houses of Indian congressmen. “In the name of protection of monkeys,” said an activist, “we cannot afford to be silent spectator to this perennial problem.”
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Mumbai Mirror

May 21, 2007A gorilla named Bokito ran amok at a Rotterdam zoo, biting a woman and breaking her arm. “He is and remains,” said the woman from her hospital bed, “my darling.”
Source 1:

The Guardian

Source 2:

Reuters

April 30, 2007Scottish scientists were developing a pill that will simultaneously boost women's sex drive and decrease their weight. When the pill was given to monkeys, said the scientists, females displayed their feelings via “rump presentation and tail wagging” and males through tongue-flicking and eyebrow-raising.
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BBCnews.com

February 23, 2007 Researchers at Johns Hopkins University confirmed that mothers suffering from heartburn are likely to give birth to hairy newborns, and scientists in Senegal watched chimpanzees fashion spears from sticks and use their weapons to stab sleeping bush babies.
Source 1:

The Seattle Post-Intelligencer

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Washington Post

February 2, 2007Biological anthropologists speculated that male chimps living in communal “free love” simian societies attempt to control the sexuality of their female partners by beating them.
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Science Now

November 23, 2006Rhesus macaque overpopulation in Delhi was causing extreme environmental stress. “The problem of man-monkey conflict,” said an environmentalist (who argued against building more monkey prisons) “is only going to increase.”
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Financial Times Deutschland

November 22, 200648 boxing orangutans retired to Indonesia from Thailand.
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BBC

November 6, 2006Officials in Sydney, Australia, refused to allow a cargo ship to dock until a rogue monkey on board was captured or killed; the ship's crew later said that the monkey--a “small brown blur”--had probably been blown overboard during a typhoon.
Source 1:

The Age

Source 2:

SMH.com.au

October 11, 2006 India's Supreme Court ordered the seizure of 300 macaques who had terrorized bureaucrats and destroyed top-secret defense documents.
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BBC

October 10, 2006The Philippines rejected a plan to help a monkey-infested island by importing monkey-eating eagles.
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gulfnews.com

September 5, 2006Scottish researchers learned how chimpanzees safely cross roads.
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BBC

August 2, 2006In New Delhi, the commuter rail authority was using a black-faced langur monkey to frighten other monkeys.
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BBC

July 29, 2006 Baboons were harrassing construction workers in Liverpool.
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Washington Post

July 24, 2006 Geneticists were optimistic about their plans to sequence and compare the genomes of such primate species as the chimpanzee (Pan troglodytes), the rhesus macaque (Macaca mulatta), the orangutan (Pongo pygmaeus), and the gorilla (Gorilla gorilla).
Source:

medicalnewstoday.com

June 25, 2006Hillary Clinton described Republicans as negligent, irresponsible, and similar to monkeys.
Source 1:

The New York Times

Source 2:

Washington Post

May 17, 2006 Scottish scientist Klaus Zuberbuhler found that Nigerian putty-nosed male monkeys say "pyow" to warn of leopards and "hack" to warn of eagles. "Pyow," said a monkey. "Hack hack pyow hack hack."
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MSNBC

May 15, 2006At a zoo in the Netherlands three bears ate a monkey. "The macaque," said an eyewitness, "was shrieking and resisting."
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Breitbart.com

May 12, 2006 Scientists announced that the recently discovered species of Tanzanian monkey which utters distinctive honk barks is different enough from a mangabey to merit inclusion in its own, new genus, Rungwecebus.
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The Chicago Tribune

January 16, 2006At Ohio State University a 47-year-old chimpanzee named Sarah (who knows the numbers from zero through six) attacked a student.
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The Guardian

August 22, 2005 Scientists in Britain and the United States confirmed that chimpanzees have a culture.
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BBC News

July 14, 2005Hoping to stave off the development of super-intelligent monkeys, a panel of scientists issued guidelines on the insertion of human stem cells into monkey brains.
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Live Science

June 26, 2005A monkey in a diaper attacked a fast-food worker in Kentucky.
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6ActionNews.com

June 13, 2005The sixty-two-year-old man who was attacked and mutilated by two chimpanzees in March was brought out of his coma.
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News4Jax.com

June 6, 2005A vaccine against the Ebola and Marburg viruses was found to work on monkeys.
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News24.com

May 30, 2005 A young colobus monkey escaped from the Belfast Zoo after having an an argument with his dad.
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Reuters

May 23, 2005and a new kind of monkey was discovered in Tanzania. It communicates in honking barks rather than in whoop-gobbles.
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Washington Post

May 17, 2005In Georgia a businessman named Hubert Johnson agreed to take down a large stuffed monkey that was hanging from a crane outside his drilling business. “The message to the workers is, 'Don't monkey around with safety',” said Johnson, even though the monkey had its hands and face painted black and was draped in a Confederate flag.
Source:

AJC.com

May 5, 2005It was revealed that Michael Jackson used chimpanzees to dust his house, clean his windows, and brush his toilets.
Source:

This is London

April 18, 2005The Mesa, Arizona, police department applied for funding to buy and train a tiny monkey that they can dress in a kevlar vest and send into dangerous situations.
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AP

April 14, 2005Zoo officials in Johannesburg, South Africa, were pressuring one of their chimps to stop smoking.
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Reuters

April 13, 2005A new species of titi monkey, golden-crowned with a white-tipped tail, was discovered in Bolivia; it will be known as the GoldenPalace.com monkey.
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CNews

March 23, 2005A study found that the stealing habits of rhesus monkeys are similar to those of humans.
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ABCNews.com

March 6, 2005In California, a couple visiting an animal sanctuary to celebrate their pet chimp's thirty-ninth birthday were just about to cut into a birthday cake when two other chimps, presumably jealous, attacked. The chimps, Buddy and Ollie, bit off the sixty-two-year-old man's fingers, gouged out one of his eyes, ripped off his nose, hacked off a foot and parts of his lips, mutilated his buttocks, and tore off his testicles. The chimps also bit off his wife's thumb before they were shot and killed. The birthday chimp was unharmed.
Source 1:

Newsday

Source 2:

The New Zealand Herald

Source 3:

SFGate

February 18, 2005An expert witness in the Robert Blake murder case testified that he once crawled into a cage filled with crack-smoking monkeys.
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E! Online

January 29, 2005and chimpanzees were found to have a sense of fair play.
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BBC News

December 16, 2004Scientists discovered a new monkey species,
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New York Times

November 10, 2004A pregnant baboon ran wild at George Bush Airport.
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Houston Chronicle

October 13, 2004The Helsinki Zoo decided not to kill its 14 baboons, which it had planned to do to make room for snow monkeys, after a public outcry.
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Agence France-Presse

September 12, 2004A naughty Indian monkey was sentenced to life in prison.
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Chicago Tribune

August 20, 2004Science labs were experiencing a monkey shortage.
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New Scientist

August 11, 2004Scientists used a dopamine blocker to turn lazy monkeys into hard workers.
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Reuters

August 4, 2004 Thai police put a stop to orangutan boxing matches at Safari World, a zoo near Bangkok.
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Associated Press

July 21, 2004Scientists discovered that yawning is contagious among chimps.
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New Scientist

July 19, 2004Researchers found that monkeys with good mothers are less likely to be aggressive, even if they have a gene that codes for aggression.
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New Scientist

July 4, 2004 Scientists succeeded in reading the mind of a monkey.
Source:

New Scientist

April 14, 2004Scientists concluded that young female chimps are smarter than young males.
Source:

New Scientist

November 3, 2003 Researchers from the University of Chicago reported that male Guinea baboons fiddle with one another's genitals when they perform a complex greeting ritual; the fiddling follows face pulling and rump presentation. White-faced capuchin monkeys, in contrast, stick their fingers up one another's noses.
Source:

Nature.com

October 13, 2003A monkey moved a robot with its mind.
Source:

The Public Library of Science

June 12, 2003New genetic research on the AIDS virus suggested that its viral parent was produced by the mixing of two monkey viruses that infected chimpanzees about a million years ago. The chimps probably caught the viruses from eating the flesh of monkeys; humans, many scientists believe, first contracted HIV from eating chimps.
Source:

New Scientist

May 12, 2003Iraqis continued to complain about the ongoing chaos and violence of the occupation. Doctors at Baghdad's Al Rashad state mental hospital said that American soldiers had knocked down their walls with tanks and then did nothing as the hospital was looted. The sole remaining patient, an insane killer named Ali Sabah, explained that he had stayed because "I hate the world and the world hates me. I don't want the monkey to see me and I don't want to see the monkey."
Source:

New York Times

May 11, 2003British scientists put six Sulawesi crested macaques in a room with a computer for a month and found that the monkeys, despite their affection for the letter S, failed to produce a single word but displayed a particular interest in defecating and urinating on the keyboard.
Source:

Associated Press

May 11, 2003Federal authorities said that they will permit passengers to take cats, dogs, and other animals, including monkeys, on airplanes for emotional support but not snakes, rodents, or spiders.
Source:

Reuters

April 1, 2003 Palestinian Islamic Jihad said it had sent suicide bombers to Baghdad “to fulfill the holy duty of defending Arab and Muslim land.” One hundred fifty thousand Moroccans demonstrated against the war, chanting “suicide attacks lead to freedom,” and there were reports that the Moroccan government had offered to send 2,000 monkeys to Iraq to help clear land mines.
March 11, 2003 The Organization of the Islamic Conference met in Qatar; representatives from Kuwait and Iraq exchanged unpleasantries: “Shut up, you monkey,” said the Iraqi, to which the Kuwaiti replied, “Curse be upon your mustache, you traitor.” CBS admitted that it hired an actor to read the translation of Saddam Hussein's remarks to Dan Rather in a fake Iraqi accent.
December 10, 2002 An American soldier bought a pet monkey in an Afghan market.
November 26, 2002 Protests continued in Iran against the death sentence of a reformist scholar, who was also sentenced to 8 years in prison, 74 lashes, and a 10-year ban from teaching for saying that Muslims should not blindly follow religious leaders like monkeys.
July 30, 2002 A group of 30 monkeys laid siege to an Indian police station to rescue an orphaned member of their tribe.
July 2, 2002 Researchers at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in Atlanta were infecting monkeys with smallpox in hopes of creating a better vaccine for the virus. The dean of the school of public health at Johns Hopkins University said that this was “an abhorrent experiment by government idiots.” Peter Jahrling, the project's lead scientist, reassured reporters: “We're not interested in killing monkeys capriciously. Sometimes I sit bolt upright in the middle of the night,” he said. “I do have a conscience.”
March 19, 2002 A monkey was able to move a cursor on a computer screen just by thinking.
March 5, 2002 A Las Vegas man was sentenced to three years in jail for stealing an African spot-nosed guenon monkey and trading it for crack cocaine.
May 22, 2001 Police were searching for a “monkey man” in Delhi, India, who was terrorizing people; he was said to have brass gloves, long, poisoned iron claws, iron boots, a helmet, and a black bodysuit. Several people died fleeing the monkey man, including one who jumped from a roof.
January 16, 2001 Scientists proudly announced the insertion of a jellyfish gene into a monkey; the gene was supposed to make a protein that glows in the dark, but it didn't, though a couple of stillborn monkeys from the same experiment did glow.
November 21, 2000A robot successfully read the mind of a monkey.
September 19, 2000 Scientists noticed that the Miss Waldron's red colobus monkey had been extinct for twenty years.
September 12, 2000In a Spanish article posted to Voter.com, Texas Republican representative Henry Bonilla said that Governor George W. Bush was “extending the monkey” to Hispanic voters.
August 1, 2000Roman and Inna Flikshtein, a Russian couple living in Brooklyn, said they would not give up Cookie, their pet diana monkey, an endangered species, which the New York state attorney general says should be in a zoo.

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